Did my first ever surgery today... on a rat nonetheless. Inserting a tracheal tube, and cannulizing the carotid artery and jugular vein. Amazing. Incredible. Breathless.
It felt great to channel such an intense focus, as if it really meant life or death. Maybe it stems from my childhood playing with strings, papers, and scissors... but those suture threads, gauze pads, and hemostats felt so comfortable to use. The pointed, blunt, and straight forceps... like extensions of my own hands. I actually thought, maybe this was what I was meant to do. Do I belong in the OR?
I was so nervous about my rat awakening...but I kept focused on the tick-tock of its breath. It was strangely calming. At the time, it meant everything, the rest of the world melted away.
Thank you, my unnamed rat, for staying with me. I am glad you were there for this moment.
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